Shattering Dust
by fallendrastic
Summary: Ridiculous and unnecessary apologies and suggestions as well as "get well soon" from people who feel guilty and sorry for her, which just makes her feel worse than she already does. Beck/Jade and Tori/Jade friendship.


**a/n: **I'm not entirely sure how this happened, I just decided to write Victorious for a change. Beck/Jade are my favorite Victorious pairing, but are quite hard to write, well for me it is. I'm not really sure how Beck is, and Jade is really dark and mysterious so it was a challenge, a fun one at least. I'm gonna write other pairings but right now, I think I'm gonna stick with Beck/Jade for a while. Also, I put some Tori/Jade friendship in there, I'm a shipper (the friendship pairing, I mean).

.x.

_shattering dust._

.x.

He laughs halfheartedly, his vision blurred and his smile lopsided. She rolls her eyes at his laugh and narrows her eyes as she proceeds to stare at the stage intently, desperately trying to stare the beautiful brunette onstage down with her icy blue eyes which possess a unique ability to make her opponent feel icy and cold.

But Tori Vega, on the other hand, has surprisingly gained a lot of confidence and backbone during the last few weeks in Hollywood Arts, but despite her new found confidence, she's still shaking frantically under Jade's intense stare.

She reads the lines off her script and acts out the scenes, causing an exasperated Jade to bite the insides of her mouth angrily. She tries her very best to act terrified of what her fellow actor tells her, and does a rather good job, but is nothing compared to Jade's previous display of fear and anxiety.

Shockingly, Tori beat Jade out for the part and ends up with at least ten times more applause then Jade from everyone else in the school's auditorium.

"It has to be rigged," Jade says angrily as she walks out of the auditorium with Beck hand-in-hand, drinking down her cappuccino as she walks down the decorated hallway. Her stomps bear an intense resemblance to a death march and Beck nods mindlessly, rolling his eyes at her stubbornness.

"Come on, Jade," Beck says, as they make their way down the stairs. "You gotta admit, Tori was really good, I mean sure she was a little nervous and rough around the edges but she did deserve it."

Complimenting Tori instead of agreeing with Jade has terrible consequences, and he knows that. He also knows that Jade could get very aggressive if Beck mentions, let alone praises, Tori out of all people instead of her.

"So you think I don't deserve the part? Is that what you're trying to say? Well fine, go run to your precious Tori, jump on a horse with her and ride into the sunset happily. Good luck dealing with that insane wackjob of a sister of hers."

Beck rolls his eyes at Jade's statement as she sneers, pressing her lips together as she continues to suck down her coffee before angrily throwing it in a nearby dustbin. As soon as she notices Tori and Cat Valentine talking animatedly in the hallway by Tori's locker, her grip on Beck's arm grows tighter and tighter and soon becomes unbearable.

Instinctively, Beck lets out a yelp and the two girls turn their heads in their directions before coming over. Tori, trying her best to remain oblivious to Jade's obvious glare, congratulates Beck on getting the role of the wealthy Marco. Just as he's about to thank her, Jade digs her black fingernails deeply into his arm and drags him out the school door, fuming.

"Really, Jade?" Beck asks as he drives down the road leading to his house, pulling up his sleeves to show the bored teenage girl beside him the fingernail markings on his tanned arms.

She slowly runs her fingers along each marking, making Beck shiver from her touch. She snickers and rolls her eyes at his scowl, plugging in the earphones to her Peapod. "Ah, stop being such a pansy." Jade orders, leaning her head against the door as Beck parks his car in his garage.

"Thanks Jade," Beck says sarcastically as he and Jade get out of his car and head towards his RV. "You're such a ray of sunshine, always such a delight to be around, in fact, you're the most delightful person I've ever met."

"Don't push it," she orders angrily, flinging onto his bed and burying her head in a pile of pillows. A muffled scream is all Beck hears as he closes the door behind him and drops his schoolbag onto the wooden floor, walking towards her with his arms crossed and sitting on the bed.

It's not long before he lies down on the pillows and sighs heavily, his arms brushing slightly with hers. They stay in that position and a long silence occurs. Jade sighs heavily and buries her head in his chest, mumbling something under her breath.

"What was that?" Beck asks, staring down at her.

"I'm... I'm... sorry, for, you know, digging my fingernails into your arm," Jade says reluctantly and breaths heavily, staring at her black polished toes. She hears a chuckle from Beck and looks up, only to see him smiling.

"Eh, it's cool. What's a few fingernail markings to mark another memory, anyway?"

.x.

Jade sighs heavily, her eyes staring at the words of her History textbook lazily. The faint sound of heels clinking on the wooden floor is heard and she immediately looks up from her textbook, once she identifies the girl in front of her, she shoots her an angry glare.

"Beck's not here. He's out sick today." Jade snaps bitterly, putting her book down and crossing her arms. Tori winces slightly under her stare and tries to keep her composure, deciding to be optimistic that day. She forces a smile and pulls up a chair, "actually I wanted to talk to you."

"Wonderful," Jade comments sarcastically, rolling her eyes and pulling out her Pearphone. Tori readjusts her seating position and pauses awkwardly, causing Jade to look up from her phone and gesture for her to talk, "go on, say words." She orders, raising a pierced eyebrow at her. She gains some confidence and finds the right words and starts speaking, "remember how Lane came to class last week and started talking about people keeping things to them?"

Jade nods uncertainly, staring at her as if she's insane. Tori presses her lips together and taps her pencil, "Well you kind of fit the description of being all secretive and dark, I'm just wondering if you're okay."

"I'm _fine_, Vega." Jade insists automatically, her voice filled with more venom than she had intended. Tori nods slowly and returns to her seat, deciding against pushing her luck any further. Jade sighs heavily and grabs a black pen and begins write on her squared notebook:

_Tori's suspicious_**.**

.x.

Beck takes a look at Jade, who is wearing a faded baseball cap over her tangled brown locks and dark sunglasses that hide her eyes.

She takes the empty seat beside Beck, and rubs her burning eyeballs, ignoring the curious glances from everyone in the room. Beck shifts uncomfortably in his seat and nudges Jade slightly; she turns to him and angrily hisses, "What?" under her breath.

"You okay?" Beck asks, staring at her with concern. She stiffens and rubs her arm instinctively, pounding on the many ways to answer the question. It goes unanswered as Sikowitz enters the class through the window and begins to write something on the board.

Jade turns her attention to the board and pretends to be interested in what he's blabbing about, but she can't help but notice the concerned stares from Tori and Beck.

_What they don't know won't hurt them_**, **Jade thinks, gulping and continuing to feign interest in the lesson.

A painful tugging in her chest makes it harder to breath; she drums her fingers on her desk repeatedly, wiggles her toes, and bite her lower lip as hard as she possibly could in a desperate attempt to lessen the pain. But, evidently, it doesn't, instead it just grows more painful.

She walks out of the classroom lifelessly, as if her heart has been mercilessly sucked out by a vacuum cleaner and dropped into a trashcan. It is now incredibly clear that something's bugging her, since she'd always leave the classroom with Beck holding his hand everyday without fail.

Tori sucks in her breath and walks up to Jade, "I know something's wrong."

"There is nothing wrong with me, get that through your head. And even if, hypothetically of course, something is wrong with me, there's no way in hell I'm telling _you_." Jade says the word 'you' in a low and deadly venom-filled tone as she narrows her eyes at Tori before turning on her heel and walking down the hall.

Beck eventually catches up to her and takes her hand as they walk down the hall together, he notices how hard Jade is clinging onto his hand and gives her a squeeze.

"Take me home," Jade orders vacantly once she and Beck are in his car.

The order is unexpected, since Jade usually hangs out in Beck's RV after school and watches horror movies with the lights dimmed and the windows closed while gobbling popcorn down her throat until dawn, it was their thing, an old routine which made Beck rent a new horror movie every day at the movie store.

She stares at the road for a while but then feels Beck's eyes burning into her, she doesn't have to ask why is he staring at her in disbelief, she can read him like a book. "I'm tired, okay? Just take me home."

"But—" Beck's protest is immediately cut off by Jade's strict commandment.

"Eyes on the road, chump. You know better than to argue with me."

.x.

Jade frantically rolls around her bed, a painful feeling tugging her chest repeatedly and she has to gasp for air occasionally. Her heavy breathing is all she hears as she finally stops rolling around her bed, feeling stray tears roll down her strained pale cheeks.

She can't take the pain and hates the cruelty of the situation; she wants to scream, knowing the universe hates her for some apparent reason. Hadn't she been through enough? Why did all of these terrible things happen to her out of all people? Sure she's hurt a few souls but this is terrible, no one should ever have to experience this.

Jade buries her head in her black pillow, crying so softly you have to really listen to hear it. She sucks in her breath and hugs her legs, rocking herself back and forth repeatedly and chewing on her lower lip as hard as she could.

She looses all patience and screams at the top of her lungs, screaming and cussing frantically. Soon, she gets worn out and falls onto her bed, staring at the ceiling with damp eyes.

The doorbell rings and she hears the door open and repositions her sitting position, drying her tears and wiping her red cheeks as she swallows a lump in her throat that formed not too long ago. Beck comes into the room, looking at her with an expression of either worry or fear, maybe both. He drops his bag and sits next to her, and she tries her best not to meet his gaze.

"Jade, are you _crying_?" he asks, and Jade winces slightly at the word.

"Never use my name and that word in the same sentence ever again," she attempts to sound menacing, but fails miserably. Beck scrunches his eyebrows together and puts a hand on her shoulder, a pitiful expression on his face which she absolutely loathes seeing him wear when he looks at her.

She harshly pushes his hand away from her shoulder and gets up, rubbing her throat and walking towards her bedroom door. She holds it open and gestures for Beck to leave when that's the last thing she wants him to do. "Leave."

"Jade," Beck empathizes, walking towards her and closing the door shut. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Lie. She's been lying so constantly that it leaves her lips almost automatically.

He takes a threatening step towards her. "That's a lie." He states as if it's a sure fact and Jade takes a step back, trying her best to keep her composure.

"It's not," her voice cracks and she gulps, sitting on the very edge of her bed. Beck sits next to her and gives her a concerned look as she lies under her black bed sheets. Beck sighs softly and eyes Jade for a while.

"What's wrong?" he asks again, softer this time. Jade accidentally meets his gaze and her eyes molds into his, a huge mistake.

She gets lost in the pool of chocolate for a brief moment and blinks, sighing in defeat. She hugs her legs and breaths in and out and pauses for a long moment, silently debating whether or not she should tell him. She meets his gaze again and finally caves, "My dad."

"Your dad?" Beck asks, scrunching his eyebrows together. Jade nods in confirmation and Beck scoots closer to her, placing his hands on her pale shoulders. "What's wrong with him?"

Jade takes a deep breath and gulps, looking at her feet. "He has cancer... it's fatal."

She feels a new found wetness invade her icy blue eyes and the icy effect melts away immediately, her grip on her legs looses and her hands drop onto the bed, she gulps again and turns to Beck.

It takes him a second to realize her walls have been weakened and he sees something in her eyes that he has never seen before; vulnerability.

.x.

The next day, Jade doesn't come to school.

Beck calls her somewhere in between Improv class during a Drive by Acting Challenge, asking her why she didn't come. She doesn't respond for about a full minute and simply tells him she "doesn't feel well" before abruptly hanging up.

Beck then sulkily sits back down in his seat and tries his best to take his mind of Jade, which is physically impossible.

He sighs heavily and walks into the Asphalt Café, sitting next to André Harris, Robbie Shapiro and Tori and takes a bite out of his burrito in silence, he doesn't miss the glances André and Tori exchange before digging into their food without speaking to Beck.

Cat, oblivious of the obvious tension, happily skips to their table and starts telling them about the time her cousin's Chihuahua drank all of her Peppy Cola. Beck finishes his burrito and starts to glob down his bacon.

"Beck?" Tori suddenly asks, snapping Beck out of his swirl of thoughts and causing him to focus on something other than his burrito. "Are you okay? You're strangely silent today."

"Jade's out sick today, isn't she?" Cat asks innocently, taking a bite out of her famous homemade brownies. Beck stiffens slightly and nods quietly, drinking his Peppy Cola and ignoring the look Tori gives him

Rex, Robbie's highly cynical puppet, makes a offensive comment and the others laugh lightheartedly, everyone except for Tori and Beck, who for the first time know something the others don't.

The school's unusual bell rings and they all head for class, and when Tori questions Beck of the real reason she skipped school that day, he tries his best to lie. Tori, however, remains unconvinced for the entire talk and just crosses her arms and narrows her eyes until Beck caves.

"She uh... has some issues she needs to work out," Beck says, fidgeting slightly as Tori raises an eyebrow, convinced that there's more than what meets the eye.

"Really?" She asks, leaning against the door and clinks her ankles together, causing the anklet on to drop to the straps of her strappy sandals.

"Yes," Beck answers quickly, and Tori raises an eyebrow. "Okay, that's not the entire truth but this is Jade we're talking about, it took a lot for her to tell me out of all people, plus this is some pretty emotional stuff. If Jade wants you to know, she'll... she'll tell you herself. I don't wanna, you know, betray her or something."

Tori pauses for a brief moment before nodding her head slowly, "I get it." The words leave her lips quickly and softly and she turns on her heel and leaves without another word. When school ends, Beck shows up at Jade's front door with a DVD of the horror film she's been begging - more appropriately ordering - him to buy.

She gives Beck a questioning stare when she first sees him, her eyes are slightly redder than they were yesterday and she's still wearing her pajamas, her hair is tangled and tousled and barely brushed and her eyes had bags underneath them.

When she notices the DVD in his hands, she snatches them quickly and plays it, closing the windows and dimming the lights. She and Beck sit down in her living room and eat popcorn, argue several times, and Jade bosses Beck around constantly, just like old times.

However, there's no denying how different the atmosphere is, how off Jade seems and how her world seems to be breaking apart. She seemingly falls asleep on Beck's shoulder; he's unsure whether or not she's really asleep or just pretending, just as the movie ends.

A long silence occurs and Beck notices how stiff she is, her breathing is still heavy and her eyes are still slightly open like usual, but they don't seem as intense as they were before. It's as if part of her has been ripped apart.

.x.

Beck's subconsciously becoming more and more protective of Jade.

When Jade returns to school, Beck's the first to meet her by the lockers and help her with her books. When she and Tori fight, he takes Jade's side regardless if she was right or wrong. If someone, most likely Rex, is offensive to her or tries to mess with her, he'll be the first one to tell them to back off. The attention he gives her is way more than before and she never has to force him to do something against his will, as long as it makes Jade happy, Beck would do it.

"You know, the endless amount of attention you constantly give me is kind of creepy," Jade comments as she replaces her History textbook with her Biology one. Beck rolls his eyes at her comment and leans against the locker beside hers, looking at Jade's black skull-painted locker lazily. "Yeah, well..." he trails off, staring at the locker before pausing, "So, um, how's your dad?"

Jade freezes, her grip on her locker growing. Beck realizes his mistake and immediately tries to correct it, "Sorry, I shouldn't have—"

"He's... He's..." Jade stammers, feeling tears pricking in her icy blue eyes.

The vulnerable look invades her eyes once again and Beck's heart drops, he takes her hand and leads her out the school doors and into his car, knowing that school would be the last place Jade would want to break down. She stares at the road in front of her with an unreadable emotion, her eyes telling a very different story.

Another long silence occurs and Beck patiently waits for it to end, he notices Jade's hands which are clenched into fists. She blinks and sucks in her breath, stray tears rolling down her pale cheeks.

Two words leave her lips slowly, making tears prick in Beck's eyes.

"He's dead."

.x.

She's not sure how, but Jade somehow ends up in the hospital. According to Beck, she was hyperventilating as well as dehydrated and had too much stress. Since pretty much all of Hollywood Arts knows about her current situation and the passing of her father, her cell phone is filled with messages.

_omg, jade, i'm so sorry for u._

_are u srsly in da hospital?_

_want me 2 copy down the history assignment?_

Ridiculous and unnecessary apologies and suggestions as well as "get well soon" from people who feel guilty and sorry for her, which just makes her feel worse than she already does.

Balloons of all shapes and sizes and baskets of snacks stand beside her bed and she flips through the pages of a magazine, sighing heavily and closing her eyes. The sound of the hospital door opening is heard and Jade's eyes automatically snap open and she sits upright, seeing her friends walking into the hospital room.

Cat's holding a plate of freshly baked cookies and chocolate chipped brownies, Robbie's duct tapped Rex mouth, André's holding a guitar, Trina's empty handed and so are Tori and Beck. Jade looks at them blankly, putting the magazine down, keeps quiet but gestures for them to come over.

They start by apologizing, Jade's silent throughout that, then André strums his guitar and starts playing a song and Tori starts singing the lyrics to the song "Wish You Well" which she and André wrote not too long ago, Jade feels tears pricking in her eyes but she remains silent.

Cat hands her the cookies and brownies and she eats half of them before giving them to the rest and Beck holds her hand throughout everything.

Almost everyone leaves the room three hours later, Beck and Tori are the only ones remaining. Jade presses her lips together and breaths in softly, lying under the warm hospital sheets. She stares at the two teens staring at her with concern for awhile, unaware of the smile that steals her face, which is very rare when it comes to Jade.

Two words leave her lips quickly, they're hard to catch and they're soft, but they're true and Jade means them completely. They also cause both Beck and Tori to smile down at her, and to which she returns with a small smile.

The words are, "thank you."

.x.

**So I managed to write all of that in 3, 824 words, awesome. I hope you liked it and I'm sorry if any of them seemed OOC, it's my first time writing Victorious and Bade. So thanks for reading guys and please review, because they would mean a lot, even if they said it was the worst thing you guys have ever read, which I seriously hope isn't.**


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